Commander in PUN'd-it Speech

    First off, (I know, thank you. Please hold your applause.) I would like to thank my campaign manager Walkaboutman, my constituents, campaign staff, supporters, and Nikola Tesla. (Rest his soul.)

As you know, here in the fictitious word lab, I have lost the non-existent election race to be your next Commander in PUN'd-IT. Tonight I concede the election to Commander-elect Mothman who honorably ran a clean campaign. Not one smear ad or bridge collapse. Congratulations and keep up the great work on your 12-step program for angry cryptids. My regards to your cousin El Chupacabra, your wife, and larvae.


  I want to hug you all and make you feel safe but not sure that is possible, at least all at once, as I am sore from shaking millions of hands for a year straight. But I would hug you all anyway, in time, if you wished. I wish I could tell you it is all a made up fictitious story that doensn't matter. Because it is and that may not stop your worries or concern for the future. I want to tell you it is all a dream, but I, no more than anyone, can quntify reality even with our F-wave Quad-Quest Quantumn-Quomputer. (100,000,000 easy payments of $19.99 on Black Friday on the Quasar Shopping Network.)


My fellow citizens, I tell you this. We, in this laboratory, have had Commander PUN'd-Its who don't necessarily
hold views the same as every one of us on the lab staff. We survived. (Well everyone except for "Big Guy" the Sasquatch, but as we know, his fast-food addiction was out of control and nano-therapy didn't help.)
 

  Yesterday we woke up and washed fictitious beakers and makebelieve retorts. Today, we washed fictitious beakers and makebeleive retorts. And when Commander-elect PUN'dIt Mothman Takes over, we shall continue to wash them no matter who sits in the head office of PUN Research. For it will not be the Commanders' PUNs who define us, it is we the lab staff, who define this amazing facility. We who define ourselves. As the Hygz Bogons particle research taught us, everything, good or bad, is temporary. Like cheese in a spray can, these things too shall pass.

Someone once said, there is no good or bad bunsen-burners, but thinking and unstable lab tables make them so. Be the best "YOU" that you can-be, and lead those around you to peace, love, breakthroughs, kindness, and scientific advances in the research facility.

Ladie, gentlemen, and creatures nano and macro, it has been my pleasure.

I shall leave you all to your research as the Multi-verse Orchestera plays us off stage.

Walkaboutman, let's walk about!

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Comments (7)

  1. noahbody

    Point well taken. In a seriously humorous way. LMAO!

    November 10, 2016
  2. Bettymom

    Oh goodie, another speech.

    November 10, 2016
    1. notthinking

      Have the recent electrons left you feeling speechless? May I suggest that you charge up by putting on some Garth Brooks and partying with your friends in low places?

      November 10, 2016
  3. belladora

    Love the punditry !! Witty and spot on.

    November 10, 2016
    1. notthinking

      And strange as it may be, it suffers a serious lack of puns. Well, you lose a scientific election of such magnitude can have a stellar impact. In fact, I am one who can attest to just how hollow it can leave you feeling, as mannequin. I know, this thinly veiled post is a shameless attempt at window dressing my embarrassing loss. Is that transparent?

      November 10, 2016
  4. stonehead

    Hello notthinking. you would think we had enough. feels like 3 years or more of being DA Bait or Da Fish on the line, hook line sinker and it was more than just a little fishing trip for the Crown Jewels. In the end, show-business and the miracle mile was crossed in record ways and time, using modern communications. In some ways, just can’t get enough. So Pun’D-in-chief and each dog or cat or critter has a day or more and get a life becomes reality. Enjoy your blogs and the real behind the fictitious. It all comes together to bring me here and walkabout stations . Glad I found you, is like powder for the keg, not sure to light it or drink it, but it keeps me going. Hello. G’day. Refreshing to see and read what others are generating from this go-around with reality and the show-business mixed. G
    day. Keep your powder dry and have a drink or sit down with me. Cheers.

    November 10, 2016
  5. Walkaboutman

    Lmao, where to now bosslady?

    November 14, 2016