Pounding hearts are all awaiting the poll results here in the Contortrix Word Lab. All the vistors are enjoying their C8H10N4O2 - powered drinks in preparation for a long night of electoral ballot spotting! Walkabout man nearly suffered a broken eardrum when one visitor started ululating ethusiastically after trying to give him a wet willie. Not sure which caused more aural damage. (This only proves that the country is suffering from aural and oral decay!) Who do we think will win? Well, we have a few pets around the lab. Just like the Chinese monkey picked Donald to win, we decided to let our little four-footed friends take a swipe at presidential prophecy. Walkaboutman, Dr Contortrix's superhero sidekick and lab assistant, brought out Quintessa his favorite Queensland Tiger and I brought out the Winnie the Wampus Cat. Now they are fighting like cats and well...cats. But before the two cryptids started carrying on, they both emptied their musk-glands, in a high-spirited and lucicrous display, on the life-size cutout of Hillary. They then proceeded to hiss and then lick at the hair-piece on Donald's carboard likeness. Now we are not 100% sure what that means, exactly, but even Michel de Nostredame had to have a baseline for his first successful prognostication. So at the very least we will know for future preditions.
Oh crap! The two crypto-cats just knocked over the water distiller! Oh For F**** Sake!
Walkaboutman! Release the Kraken! Walkaboutman!
Ahhhh! My shin!